Tak Berkhasiat

Well, baru2 nih aku kerap mkn megi jea...
Ceritanya begini:
Sem baru dh start + aku ada camping cooking ware + Hard nk cri tman mkn waktu noon + megi 2 shedap!
so aku pown kerap cook megi dlm bilik... except for bau hexamine yang cam hampeh ngan lmbatg masak, it's kinda fun.
Tapi malam aku mesti makan beef kalau x aku cranky gila~
Well, i rarely eat veggies anyway lol

Kidding me?

ROTU people doesn't know how to have fun. Fact.
Malam last training aritue, we all dpt laa chance nak release tension kn, tp ada catch.
"Korang buat la aktiviti intake, baru la ada kenangan," kata Tuan Aizuddin yang cam hampeh tue (sori tuan!)
Tapi kitorg semua dah ada plan sendri. What the fuck? I mean, kitorg semua dah muak kn asyik buat everything secara penuh berdisiplin dan bertatatertib (nak type pon sakit hati... siot nyer words) for 3 weeks, pastu nak have fun pon kena ikut prosedur jgak?
"Kalau nak, I bley organize dinner utk korg kt Chop and Steak, korg semua naik lori 3 tan (wtf?), pegi makan, pastu balik,"
Walaupon pakaian bebas (kalo kena pakai tuck in dengan tracksuit gak memang aku tikam jgak sorg2 YO tuh) tapi again, WTF??? Kitorg nak jenjalan, tgk wayang, enjoy! Bkan dinner ngan jurulatih! Lagi sekali! So terjadilah break...
Beberapa org yg ada otak keluar dalam 1 group outing kt The Mines, manakala bebudak baik yg lain kena pegi dinner party yg bosan tuh hahaha... Kt SS jea pulak tu! Dahla naik lori!!! HAHAHAHA
Tapi kitaorg yg pegi Mines mmg enjoy gila... Makan KFC beramai ramai... Jenjalan tangkap gambar... Tengok Storm Riders lagi (tido dalam cinema... every single one) dan keluar mall pkul 3 pagi, terhuyung hayang da... tapi enjoy walaupon kuar duit lebih ckit... Memang enjoy gila ah.
Agaknya kenangan apaa laa yang diorg dpt kat dinner tue?
"Haha, malam tu, sudu dia jatuh,"
Dengar pon sedih...

I HATE TRAINING

Uhh...
Kepala aku sudah biol...
Mana taknya, 3 minggu aku annual camp...
Actually, takla trok sangat annual camp tuh. I mean, Stab Faisal is a very nice guy and all, tapi ade jgakla shitheads merata2. Most of teh YOs, and some shitty low paygrade instructors. But overall okay jea, cume sakit hati gak la. Yela kan, time cuti cenggini kena berjaga tengah malam plak kena hell kan? Org laen sedap jea tengok astro kat umah~
The last few days adalah yg paling cam hampeh sekali. Kitorg masuk hutan!!
Well, spatutnya lebih organized laa drpd yg kitaorg wat 2, tp wht teh hell.
Makan nasi mentah...
Tido kat tengah dirt road... Dan bangun tengah malam sebab hujan, selimut pastu sambung tido kat bawah hujan 2 (dah penat tahap zombi dah pon, tu yang tido jgak 2)...
Minum air sungai x masak...
X mandi... And pakaian yang lembap kering atas badan... X tukar sepanjang dlm hutan tuh...
And the worst part of being juniors is... Set Up tempat!!! Damn! Kitaorg mana laa ada facility yg tersergam indah kn? so every time wat training jea kena laa kitaorg yg pasang khemah, angkut barang, bersiang ayam, ikan, daging, sotong...
"HMPH! I'LL CRUSH YOU INTO PIECES!"
Tp hari last training mmg best. Check that. Malam die jea best, siang kena bergotong-royong lg...
Tell you that in teh next post!

0w jeez

yeah all, how ya doin
this is a story bout ma own fiends

see ma fren is a crook
seized ma picture with a hook
posted it in teh facebook
so i said, liek, dood,
get a life or sumthin',
coz thiz ain't crackin',
this picture sucks
exactly like muck

trouble is a friend

trouble is a friend, it will catch u where u go oh oh~
no matter if u're fast no matter if u're slow oh oh
u're fine for a while but u start to lose controoOOooOOooOOooOOoooll~

yep teman2 skalian, trouble mmg frens yg mnyusahkan,
lag2 ble time camniey
org len bley blik home 2 theyre families, tapi aku?
mnyusahkan diri ngan latihan berterusan lah, annual camp lah,
really, i dont even liek these stuff!
syaitan apakah yg merasuk aku utk menyertai ROTU?
bunch of freaks (look whos talking lol)

anyways, aku sedar skarang why my beloved daddy x bg aku join upnm...
kata beliau; kau xkan tahan punyer!
really, i'm glad i'm such a good son...
and even though aku sendri x stuju, tp they were rite all along,
THEY KNOW ME BETTER THAN MYSELF
how silly is that?
camner aku bley xknal diri aku sendiri?
i'm not stupid, at least not in a practical way,
although aku dpt 2.8 jea utk matrix
but i guess they know me better T_T

so, sekarang aku buang masa on teh nets
walaupun spatutnya hari niey kosongkan bilik dan serah kunci
i'm sitting here, reading online manga
playing fb
writing a blog
di tengah-tengah bilik yg seriously serabai gler
dan buku library yg hilang tu pown x jumpak lg
and training starts on monday
laptop x antar kt abg aku lg
and its alredy thursday
officially, i say damn it all!
hahahahahah~

hoit..

td aku pi laa mines ngan si BJ...
Habis kot rm120!!! Camna tuh?
mmg x ptut...
niey smua annual camp lah pnya angkara
dah byr rm100 4 tha equipment, kna beli brg tambahan plak tuh~
kalau elaun masuk on time xpa...
ni janji msuk blan 9 msuk blan 11 huuu
pternandra echinata btol laaa (pternandra echinata = pokok sial menahun, dendrology lol)
i hope mah money comes in soon

facebook, finally

stelah lama aku pnya frenster tnggelam dlm habuk, aku pown wat akaun fb plaksss
i got 23 frens in 24 hrs!!!1!!11!!!!! wakakakakakakka
Encik BJ kat blk sbelah pown xleh blahs
Psal dyorg comment aku chumel :)
Tp aku nk jd hensem, chomel 2 bgus kew?
I'm not 10 anymore okay
aku suda matang!!
So search me... Badd Hakim @ facebook
some spell it fecebook lol

Memories

This is one of the more mushy posts, so quit while you can :)

Maybe it's because it was so recent, or maybe because it's when I first made so many new things, but matriculation holds most of my memories, some happy, some sad. Anyway, it's nice to get that feeling again, remembering things feels like wrapped in warm blankets on a stormy evening... You feel so safe and comfy, and nothing will make you leave that. If you know what I mean.

Songs, especially, link me back to the past. Right now, listening to Katy Perry's Thinking of You, it reminds me of lonely days I spent outing alone. I was walking alone in the huge mall (Jusco Penang I think) and this song came up. I was eating an orange lollipop, walking alone, nothing to do... and I bit the lolly. It broke, and gashed the roof of my mouth. I bled, and went into the huge, empty restroom and there's this cleaner guy crouching on the floor, head between his knees. He said nothing, and neither did I. Washed my blood, and went out again.

I saw Pink's Who Knew MV just now, and it reminded me of the night I had a tonsil infection. It was late, and everyone was asleep. It hurts like hell, and I daren't fall asleep in case it hurts worse when I woke up. But it really hurt, and I'm thirsty and I can't drink, I can barely speak... Nobody could help, since it's way past midnight. I sat in front of the TV, and they're playing late night MVs... and then there's Who Knew, and each time I heard that I remembered that night. I remembered that night fondly, though, even though it was painful, staying up all night alone, on a couch in front of the TV.

Then there's that night I went for a marathon. It was an international marathon in Penang, and I had this fever. It was a very high fever, and I hadn't eaten anything in days. But I still went, a Koolfever plastered onto my forehead. We spent the night at Queensbay Mall, and I slept in a theater, through a horror movie. That cleared my head a bit. I went outside with my friend Muz, and we walked around, waiting for the marathon to start. There's this song playing loudly, it's LeAnn Rimes' Life Goes On, and I heard it somehow. 5 minuted before the race started, while I am standing behind the starting line, sweat broke out and I got an instant heal lol. I didn't finish it, of course, I haven't eaten for three days. I stopped running at the 18th km...

But the song that brought most memories to me is Vanessa Carlton's White Houses. I had that in my cellphone for a while, and the song is so touching that I kept hearing that over and over again. It reminds me of a lot of things, last days at KMPP. The overnight outing with Sayza and Zetty, lazy evenings with nothing to do, my roomates, and that fucking sunset. Can't get that fucking sunset out of my head. I dreamt of it, and it stays in there forever. It's not that bad, but it made me sad-like. Like knowing you'd never see that again, and it was so beautiful it hurt inside, but it hurt good.

Anyway, lately I've been rushing around, not having the time to sit and reminisce and all, but that's good in a way, because what we did today become our memories for tomorrow. So now I'm trying to get as much experience as possible, just for that cozy feeling I got, that closeness, that salvation.

No wtr??

Well, whaddaya know. I woke up this morning and found out the water supply's out. And I've got exam at 8! Luckily teh next block still gots water, so showered there. Finished exam (badly) and went back, turned on the internet and found a notice saying today will be no water. Well, why don't you bastards post it earlier??! Shit!
Now I'm left with no water at all. I haven't washed my face in like, 28 hours and it's sticky as hell. Not to mention shower... And i can't use teh toilet!!! Why?? Why???
Now I'm real crappy and snapped at everyone in proximity. And I've only got rm290 left in my account! Rm1200 spent in liek, a month? My dad's gonna get a heart attack. Sure, I've still got another RM2000 which my mom kept, but hell, 1200 in 30 days? that's liek spending rm40 a day!
Anyways, I know i'll never get an easy time after this, what with my crappy results comin out and teh annual camp and the super spender and all... Seriuosly considerin suicide. Or killing fucking everybody else. Lol

Does anybody care?

Hi-ho! 'Tis been a loong time afore me wrote on this page, but does anybody notice?
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
Hell no, Nobody's been reading this. But then again, this is kinda liek my diary, so I'll just keep on Writing.
Uspot sucks big time!!! I should've gotten broadband in the first place, but uspot is sometimes normal, sometimes it sucks... Plus the trouble of going out to pay bills each month... *sigh*

i AM injury prone

Well, there you have it. I busted another ankle. The other one haven't healed completely yet, and now this one is twisted... How the hell will i walk again T_T

Hahaha actually the pain grows smaller with every injury you take. The first time I twisted a limb I almost fainted and can't move for days, but now I can walk within minutes (but that really hurts) after i gots myself injured...

Jeez, i however prefer NOT getting any moar of these injuries plz kthanx

Get ur f**king mind off food!

So lately i've been thinking only about eating, liek 'jeez, maybe i should taek that bus, it heads to teh cafe' or 'is it dinnertime yet?'.

This impulse may be triggered to the illusion of havin sooooo much money in mah pockets (well, bank account actually). Technically, it is an illusion coz ptptn is a loan, and i hav to pay that back someday (yeah rite), making me want to eat anything that moves...

So yesterday was the Russian poetry recital, and I ate some nasi lemak with sausages and potatoes as add-ons (see? see!?) and left, and the whole time i was at the russian cultural center i keep thinking about that table of refreshments i saw on the way in, but alas, i have to go solat jumaat, and it was at that particular time that they decided to have their snack hour... All clear when i returned T_T

Went back to university, sat in room until liek 8 pm (no lunch) and lay down for a while, woke up at, get this, 2 am!!!! How the hell am i supposed to eat then? I finished my maggi stock ages ago, and John's stash is only mie sedap, which i particularly loathe... So i bloated my guts today at McD's, and just half a regular fries filled me up, and boy, i keep stuffing them down and got me a large vanilla coke on the way into the cinema...

So i lasted liek, 28 hours without eating? And i was real cranky and all, but hey, I'm cranky when I'm full anyway lol

That time in life

Well, folks, it's that time in your life again. Where you just want to shout and smash anything in sight. When your knuckles are practically hungry for something to punch and kick and you really, really wish there's a punching bag right now or you swear to god you're gonna kill somebody, hang their bodies in a tree and kick it till a limb falls off...

When you say fuck to slow internet, computer virus, and your common reply was the middle finger.

When you just can't be bothered to get up in the mornings anymore, and feel like you can sleep the whole day. Assignments still not sent in (THATS 20 FUCKING MARKS DAMMIT) and you just realized that you don't know what the heck have your lecturers been trying to teach you this whole semester

When you'd rather eat than do your fucking assignments...

So cranky that your equally cranky friends begin to run away, pissing in their wet pants

duh, FINALSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! CURSE YOU DAMMIT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I'D KICK YOUR ASS TILL YOU SHIT IN YOUR PANTS YOU STUPID SICK FUCK BLOODY DAMNATION &^$(&^$%^#$@#$%$^&%^#*$&%

...
...*cough* pardon me :)

Touch in, touch out... cont'd

Well, after that day school became hell for me. I made no contact whatsoever with anyone. I rarely even answered when teachers spoke to me. Recess for me is going to the library, because nobody would think of talking to a reading stranger. It became such a bore that I loathe going to school.

That was until one day, when something happened. The teacher for that period was not in, and the seat next to me was empty because the jackass in it was on leave. I was reading something totally ridiculous, chemistry for undergraduates. Its not like I get pleasure from reading, but as long as I pretend to be reading, nobody would approach me and talk. As asshole-ish as my classmates are, they respect people's needs for study. Even if a nerd with 'bully me' flashing all round his bespectacled head is reading or doing homework, he won't be bothered.

Or so I thought. In the middle of all the noise of the various groupies chatting and some kids playing futsal with a bottle at the back of the class, I can hear somebody approach. I flipped a page to show that I'm reading.

He sat right next to me. I know it was a 'he' because it's an all-male school. I pretended not to notice, and flipped a few more pages, pretending to look for something. And then he spoke.

"You know, I like sitting next to you. It's so peaceful,"

I was hoping he was talking to somebody else, but after a few moments, I realized that it was me he was talking to. Dumbed by the unexpected greeting, I said nothing but looked at him. It was the school's rugby captain. Probably the alpha male here. I wondered where his group is. I looked around and saw that they were discussing something rather audibly.

We said nothing more. He just sat there, head on the desk, relaxing, and I continued my fake reading. But somehow, I felt comfortable with this.

The next day he came again. Well, it was after the finals and teachers didn't bother to come in anyway. He introduced himself and we talked a bit. He was the first person I know that recognizes silence as a part of conversation. We'd talk, and suddenly we'd stop, then start again at the takeoff point. It was like listening to lazy people talking. In fact, that's what I call it: lazy chatting.

Over time we became friends, and as our friendship strengthened, I found that befriending him was different than befriending Ed. Befriending him slowly dissolves my barrier towards other people. Maybe it's because he's somebody in this short high school life, or maybe it's because the way he behaves, but I found that you don't need to be alone.

He introduced me to his friends, and I met them with pleasure. Other people started to approach me and we became friends. But still, somehow, I never did get myself a clique. I have a lot of friends, but I hang out alone. And the captain sometimes hung out with me, but we are alone. Maybe because it was the quality that made him talk to me in the first place: peaceful solitary.

ZOMG I'm sooo embarassed!!!!11!!

Td kan, I got on the campus bus as usual, 5 stops from where i'm staying. I'm heading back, and i got this humongous plastic bag filled with thankfully clean laundry and a McValuetm meal Cik Pah bought me. So the bus was full, but I got on anyway.

It was that kind of bus that maximizes standing space, so i stood in the middle of a crowd. things went quite well until the next stop.

The bus stopped and people got off, leaving me more space in the middle. I had to move away from the pole I'm leaning on to (Can't hold an overhead grip, both hands full) and stand in the middle, away from any poles.

Then the bus jerked and moved forward. I took a step backwards, trying to balance myself, but I lost it anyway and fell right on the laps of three girls. Now, that might sound like a dream come true but believe me, you don't wanna do that in public.

The girls screamed, and I'm sure it's not a scream of pleasure lol

I got up and said I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I could've blushed, but my face's too black for that.

So for the rest of the long journey back I stood there, hoping there's no one i know on board T_T

Touch in, touch out

Don't think dirty!!!

That is what i read in homecoming by cynthia voight, about people in yuor life. people we meet everyday, people you don't see much, people who are your best friends... just 'people'. what do they all have in common? they're not people who grasp your life, they're touchers.

Some people stay in your lives forever, even though they're gone. Their touch was something like a thunderbolt, warping your life line so that it's changed forever, for the better or worse. Friends i've met in matriculation... all hazy now, but i still remember a few quite vividly...

I once was a sociopath - a loner. DOn't get me wrong, i still am, just not as bad as i was earlier. My friend count at school is mostly two, one being another sociopath, the other being my link to the others... I never talk to strangers, no matter how friendly they are. I'm almost always lonely, coz my friends have lives of their own.

Things got worse in Form 4, where our class separated into different courses. I am left with Ed, my sociopath friend. The thing about me is, bullies leave me alone. I don't know why, i mean, i have the characteristics of a pick-on-me nerd, but they avoid me. They don't avoid Ed, however. They're always making fun of him due to his special characteristics...

We were the best of friends, although we sometimes fight (he giving me the silent treatment). He's almost always late for our meetings. I can remember going on an puting with him on Valentine's day, and what he said was "Aku x caye hari Valentine aku kuar ngan kau... cam gay plaksss,"

He had girlfriends, but he's always dissapointed with them; them being unfaithful...

We are quite happy nearing his death.

I still remember that last day of school with him. It was a Thursday, and the class is empty. I asked him if he was free that evening. He said he wanted to go back and sleep. I said he's always sleeping, why don't he sleep his life away?

I wished I hadn't said that.

We went back to our homes, and I spent the weekend with my family. It was Ramadan, and raya is very near. On SUnday I went back to school. Things got ugly.

I went to my seat and as usual, sat down and stared at the whiteboard. People were sitting in their cliches, as usual. hate to be a whiner, but i haven't a clique. I noticed that some of them were looking at me, which is unusual. I prepared my wall as one of them approached me.

He asked me if I know Ed's dead.

I stared at him, twisting my mouth into a skeptical smile. People sometimes joke about this stuff.

Don't bluff me, I said.

Another guy came near and said the same thing to me. Tears were forming in my eyes. I forced my face to show nothing, but my eyes betrayed me. I don't want to believe it, I can't believe it... I refuse to believe it. Liars, I told them, hoping my voice didn't break. Any moment now, I thought, any moment they'd break into laughter at their cruel joke, and Ed will come as usual, carrying his worn-out black bag.

The laughter never came. So didn't Ed. Forever.

I went outside for the morning prayers, still not willing to be gullible. But then someone said over the PA system: One of our students had an accident last Friday, so let us pray.

So it was true. I didn't pray. I went back in class and sat down, alone in my place at the corner of the class. I focused on restraining my tears, ignoring the stares that i didn't see but i know it was there...

People tried talking to me, but i pretended to be asleep. I went back home, broken. And i tried to cry then but my tears never came. It was unfair. He was my only friend. Why not take somebody else's? Someone who has a lot of friends? One missing wouldn't make a difference. But I only had one, and they had many. Surely...

Then I know why God did it. So that I'm the only one hurt. Had it been somebody else, more people would've been hurt. It still felt unfair. I closed myself to the world. And never showed anything to anyone again. How i felt. My desires, ambitions, hopes, fears... My face became a wooden mask, and my voice dissappeared.

To be continued, coz I'm damn late to class.

OH SHI~

Okay, I admit that l8ly all i've said is bad things about my attention-whoring-asspergers-syndromic seniors, but they are (here i go again), so this time I'm going along with nice and thoughtful.

I've been thinking lately that unless you believe in reeincarnation, we all only got one chance to be somebody. Either be a specific somebody or be a hybrid. Like, I mean, say, for students, especially in universities, we study to be something: we take medicine to be a doctor/pharmacist/surgeon, we take engineering to be, well, engineers, etc. etc.

Have it ever occured to you what would happen if you didn't take that course? What if you took something else? Would you be who you are now? Know your friends now? Have your present skills/experiences? Have present memories of life? So much possibilty come from that one moment when you choose to follow a certain course.

As for me, I took a degree in Forestry, and if I hadn't I'd probably never stick my feet into forests or meet my best friends, Tasha, Cik Pah, Shazril, Wan, Fauzi and everybody else. On the contrary, I might also never meet my asspie seniors (whoops, pardona mei) and the equally problematic Darwis... Sometimes I feel sorry for him lol

Then again, I'd probably have another set of good friends and assholes if I had followed another course. Or maybe more of one kind. But the thing here is, the slightest change can determine your life now.

What if you had set out earlier this morning? You might have met a potential friend, or maybe you could have missed what your roommate have to say to you last night vefore falling to sleep. Or maybe if you have registered at your college 15 minutes earlier, you could have someone else as a roommate, and maybe a whole new set of people altogether. Imagine not knowing the people you know now, and them being strangers who could've been your friends.

Or maybe if you had walked into a different place, you might have been someone else today, better or worse. It takes but a bit of change, a multitude of possibilities, an impossible set of values with unpredictable outcomes... So appreciate what you have today, and know that if you can actually turn back time you might have been someone else together... Friends don't come that easily :D

Injury Prone?

Well, baru smalam aku tgah dduk atas tembok about 2m high, tetiba jea aku rase cam ader lipas plak kt c2... so naturally aku pon terjun. It was about 11.45pm, and gelap cam hape tah... Jalan yg aku landing 2 plak x develop lg, so sgt2 x rata...
Aku landing sbelah kaki okay, tp lg sbelah tap68kgak kaki dier turned inwards, so korang kira la sendri, badan seberat about 68kg jatuh dari tinggi 2 meter dan fokus ke atas ligamen kaki kiri aku... pd kelajuan about 10m/s...
So pagi esok aku xleh jln secara normal, balik upm kot pegi pusat kesihatan, tp rupa2nya pk ttup pukul 1 sundays... aku sampai 1.20... shit shit shit (yup, aku x censor pon, too much trouble. nobody reads this anyway). so aku kena tunggu smpy 8pg esok... better be mc 4 me lol

Chillin' out!!!

Thiss weekend, aku tido kt umah abang aku... Well, it's no castle, but at least aku free drpd KOSASS... Yeah, free from Kosass... Maybe other blocks hadn't had it so bad, but our seniors are getting into crazy mode~~getting obsessed with teaching us lagu blok(wtf??? they hav songs for evrything), the hakka and evrything else...
Blok napuh xla stress sgt kot? With us its close to ragging... L8ly junior army plak asyik kena wat rowcall jer... Rowcall 2 ape? Haa.. In real life army, a rowcall is when non-officers line up to check their uniforms and report problems, i suppose. But our rowcall is liek 4 juniors only, and they torture is with physical training and moral degradation. The worst part is the stuckup girl seniors... yeah, when girls got teh power, they turn into bitches. Guy seniors aren't that bad, kinda cool in fact, but those senior bitches crave attention, forcing girl juniors to acknowledge their assistance.
Aku x tau la, but maybe that's why they joined kosass... I mean, almost everybody who joined kosass is pretty messed up to me... some of us are sedentaries who don't really know what war is aside from what they learned from counterstrike or call of duty or other shitty games liek that, some of us are weak nerds who suck up to seniors in every way... others are just as equally messed up.
Me? Well, I'm a weak pussy who entered to learn skills essential to survive alone... Kinda like otaku amirite? lol
But this all is irrelevant to teh topic!!! Sigh~~~

Normal...?

Menurut 1 buku psychology yg pernah aku baca, normal itu sebenarnya x wujud kalau xde majority (or sumthing liek that). Simply put, kalo ad sorg je then normal tu x wujud. 4 example, it is normal utk seseorang ade 2 tangan, and abnormal kalo dy ada 1 saje atau lebih.
Which brings us back again to ... me.

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH KNIFE COLLECTING!!!

Ada banyak lg manusia kt luar sana tuh yang suka kumpul pisau bebanyak, so i'm normal, all you freaky faggots!!! Xder salahnyer suka pisau, kan? Kan? Sgt cantik dan berkilat dan straight...

Ten things

Smalam bila aku dok sensorang kenagan lama menggeletek jiwaku... Satu game yg aku pernah main dgan Am wak2 kt matriks dlu...

I'll suddenly go "What pisses you off?"
Then he'd go "I dunno... cruelty to animals?"
"People acting not like themselves,"
"High prices,"
"Stinking food,"
"Plastic girls,"
And so on. Well, something like that, and we'd go at it while we walked, so the one who ran out of things to hate loses. It's a nice game, and that's one of the few things that i still remember. So, I'm writing down the top ten things that annoy me CURRENTLY(it changes every hour or so) in honor of teh game:

10. Blunt wooden pencils

9. Not having fresh shirts to wear

8. My sorry state, overall

7. Russian class (believe me, that one hour is hell enuff)

6. Running out of money

5. Suck-up juniors

4. Believe it or not, Violence in any form

3. Injustice

2. Guilt

1. Being so far away from home, especially this festive season.

To all readers (Total:1 and wavering), this is teh now list of things i hate. well, i hate computer class 2 actually but i can always surf teh net while he's speaking anyway, so it ain't that bad...

Playing with teh moon!

Aritue, dgn x semena2 nya moon mesej ak:

Ptg niey pegi bukit ekspo nk?(Lebih kurang laa)

Bleh jer.

Lalu aku pon jumpak dy, rupa2nyer tgh berjoging mamat kiut niey hahaha... Cam x caya jea... Dy dtg bukit ekspo dr k17 jln kaki jea, tp masih kelihatan muda dan menawan... Aku plak temengah2 cam ikan kehausan...

Kitaorg main buaian and slides and whatnot, pas2 gi mkn... tp dy bungkus, psl dy nak balik jln kaki...

Arggg sakit!!!

Yes ter day hujan lebat gila, dgn guruh berdentum-dentam kat luar... John plak kuar kampus pegi jmpak family dier.. Jd ak keseorangan dlm bilik baca manga ~sigh~ Gelap tul, mmg spooky ar. Jd aku pon keep on reading teh manga smpai ad satu kilat tu dkat btul terasa, mmg la dh kolej pon atas bukit kn, so aku pon ttop laptop dan berlari kat bilik sebelah.

Jam menunjukkan kul 6.30 pm...

Masuk ke bilik sebelah dan dan berjumpa encik darwis. Kata ak: Huu seramlaa lepak cni bleh?

Kata encik darwis: Awwww, bleh jer you! I pon suka kat you! Ahakssss, jom dinner?

Kata ak: Bleh jer, tunggu hujan reda ckit key?

Kata encik darwis: Hak ah.

Sooo, ak pon segera ke bilik air untuk mengeluarkan isi perut ak melalui esofagus ak dan mencuci muka. Hujan sangat lebat, sampai koridor ak basah lencun...

Baru aku teringat, bkan ke towel aku sidai kat luar td? Lalu ak keluar dari tandas dan slip sliding along teh way, best plak kn macam ice skating... Slipper ak licin. Setelah jalan ckit, ak pon sampai ke depan pintu bilik. ak pon slide kuat ckit la kan, dan menangkap handle pintu aku. Tanpa diduga aku jatuh tergolek. Cara aku jatuh cam somersault, tapi sideways la. Ak dapat merasekan ad orang bagi aku 9 marks, tapi khayalan jea kot.

Kesakitan yang ad tersebut sukar digambarkan. Jari kelingking tangan kanan aku nampaknya cam kena kupas, siap ada kulit tergantung lagi. Tapi x rasa sakit lg. Tangan kiri aku yang sakit gila tuh, cm tergeliat jea. Aku menjerit "Oh shiiiiiit!" skali dan terus menggigit bibir. Nasib baek xder org dgr, pasal kengkawan kt u nie kalo nmpak org jatuh bkan nk tolon, gelak ad laa wawawawa...

Giler sakit smpai ak x mmpu bergerak wat cam 5 minit. ak duduk je kat situ kesakitan, dan keseorangan... Orang laen x dgr kot sal hujan lebat. Oleh sbb tkut infection aku lalu menguatkn diri bangun dan pergi ke water cooler utk membasuh jariku yang terkupas...

Waktu jln 2 rase cam nak blackout dh... Stars explode in my vision... Tp ak jln jer wat bodo. Ak balik, bersusah payah bkak pintu bilik dgn 2 tangan yang xleh function(Pintu blik ak cam ketat ckit, dyorg x pebaik lg) dan masuk ke bilik ak yang gelap. Ak tgk atas, fan tgh berpusing tp ak x dgr ape pon... Telinga ak cam block. all teh time ak rasa cam nak pitam gila. Lay down on my bed and grimaced...

Nak nangis, tp xleh. Xnak kuar. All teh time aku malu pon ad, weak gila aku nie, sakit ckit cm2 pon nk pitam. wak2 ak tgh baring 2 la mula rase sakit kt jari yg terkopek 2... panas semacam jea.

Setelah beberapa lama (15 mnit jer sbenanye) en darwis pon bkak pintu bilik ak.

Kata beliau: Hey, you, jom kita dinner?

Kata I: Bleh kita g pk dlu x? (pk=pusat kesihatan)

Kata beliau: Asal, you sakit ker?

Ak lantas menceritakan mah predicament. dia lalu bersetuju utk mmbawa aku...

Smpai sana dh ckit org (mlm dh, kul 8) so ak amik number dan menunggu. tgn ak dikatakan throbbing. masuk blik, jmpak dr Aung (hahaha). beliau tgk tangan ak dan bertanyakan beberapa soalan. Aku menjawab dgn sopan dan malu2 alah. Dy lalu menyuruh ak ke bilik rawatan. Ak lantas menurut...

Di bilik rawatan, saya disambut oleh seorang nurse muda yg agak cun. Beliau menyuntik saya (ntah hapa hapa kan? tangan tergeliat kena suntik. setan tul) lalu mencuci luka saya dengan jari jemari yang halus mulus... dan..

"Itu jea?"

"Ha'ah."

"Xde splint ke, simen ke, at least x-ray ke?'

"tak de kot adik..."

"Tapi tgn saya sakit gila niey!" (nurse tersebut ltak plaster je kt tgn tu...)

"Tu adik tanya doktor le ya?"

Ak lalu masuk balik ke bilik doktor sbb ak xdapat mc yang diidam-idamkan. Setelah bermain kata2, ak ckap: Nie xde apa2 precaution ke? cam xleh kena air ke...

Mr Aung: Hmm, you xleh play sports la, kerja berat ke,

BINGO!!!

Tanpa menyia2kn peluang yang diberi tuhan, ak lalu berkata: kalo camtu saya nak mintak mc untuk esok bleh? Sok saya ad aktiviti ROTU niey...

Rupa2nya assistant doc dh lama kt blakang aku dgn buku mc. dia lalu menghulurkan buku tersebut kpd doktor Aung tersyg...

Dr. Aung: you mau lama mana? Seminggu?

Uiks, cam perli aku jea doktor niey... Xpe, xpe, cool.

Kata sy: Esok jea la, Jumaat xder klas...

Dr aung: Khamis pon xder?

Trima kasih Dr Aung!!!

Kata sy: Bolehla, 2 hari, hehehe...

Beliau lalu menuliskan mc tersebut dan memberikannya kepada saya. saya lalu menerimanya dgn besar hati...

Ni la tmpat ak jatuh:

Nie plak aftermath dy...

Hati2 semasa sliding...

My life iz zooo boring... bleah

Lately aku berasa tersangat bosan... Walaupon ak ade benda nak wat (kemas bilik aku yg dah tahap kandang kat zoo, assignment yang stack cam busut atas meja, basuh baju... etc etc), tetapi ak masih berasa bosan. Kerja2 tuh? Aku x wat pon hahaha

Actually rase cam kena depression plak kan? Rase malas jer nak bergerak... Tambah plak tu ad laptop plus internet kn dalam bilik... So kebelakangan niey aku berkurung dlm bilik baca manga Fairy Tail cam seorang otaku yang berpengalaman... Nak gi makan pon malas... Aku dh x larat dh nak tulis nih... ak nak sambung baca manga... urhhh

My roommate

Ini roommate sayer, John, dr Pangkal Durian, Kelantan. Dy suka makan lepuk (cam durian gak tp kering cket) dan jamming lgu2 cam rock ckit. Bru2 ini, John telah membeli speaker untuk laptopnya. Justeru itu, beliau telah memasang lagu2an rocknyer pd maximum volume. Dahla pegi PC fair aritue beli speaker x ajak, pas2 balik menayang speaker hampeh tul...
Saya dan John sangaaaaaaaaaat mesra... Hahaha.
Setiap mlm kami tido bersama (yela kan, dah namanya roommate...)
Saya cakap 'goodnite abang john!!'
Dy lalu membalas "korak mu!"
Sy kekadang x puas hati sbb dy x mesra cam ngan kawan dia; x pernah plak nak panggil ak 'nate' kan? Rase terpinggir je...
Apapun, beliau adalah roommate sy yng mesra dan penyayang!!

Revelations and Moar Dilemma

Aku bru je taw smalam weyh, msuk ROTU (Reserve Officers Training Unit) secara automatik dan gratisnyer aku dh jd Leftenan Muda... Tinggi tuh pangkat dier! Padahal Staf Faisal yang starlight aku aritue pon bru Sarjan jea... Even THough dy dah 50 thun dlm army still seargent lg... Aku yg xtau pkai M16 niey pon dh Young Liutenant dh... Krg kalo dh masuk full time army krg Captain dh confirm dh pon... Wah ah ah ah bongkak plaksss trasa... Nyway blom tauliah lg so 4 tha time being still Pk laa (PK tuh pgawai kadet)
Still, bru2 niey something is the very berry bothering mah mind laa... Aku niey ssuai ker jd askar? Kalau Mz Cruelnita I dunno what she'll say, but seemed like evry single one of my frens dun belief me... Ye la kan, aku niey org tgok pon x tkut kn... Sama je la pangkat aku dgn Barney teh Purple Dinosaur kn... T_T
Besides that, evryone cam obses sgt dgn teamwork. Ye la, aku taw la kan, army klau tgh war kene la ade backup ke, strategy ke, tu aku mmg x nafikan laa. But the problem is, aku niey bkan la team player (sbb 2 la aku x msuk sports). Another reason aku cam x ssuai jea training nk jd army... An d i talk so soft and polite... Staf Faisal aritue rileks jea ikat tali bra kat kpala dyh waktu distribute army bra kt PKW aritue... Siap dyorg wat lawk "Ambik jea la, plih plih ape kan saiz smua same jea..." WTF???
Teh main question now is ; aku suka x dgn bnda niey? I can't really answer that. I mean, on one hand it's fun and all... And on the other hand lpas training cam hell gler... Tp lpas abis rase high jea... So I guess it's okay. Nyway, ak msuk pon sbb nak improve kan? (Plus duit gaji, x sberapa pon). So i guess i'll stay to teh end?

Y so serious???

now isn't that something?

LOL

This is what u see after u die

Burp...

Setelah 2 minggu di UPM, berat badanku bertambah sebanyak 2 kilo. Ya, 2 kilo. Cam iklan weight loss plak tapi niey weight gain, tensen la plaksssss...
Kalo berat turun cepat cam niey kan best?
Nie smua salah kad meal plan yang hampeh tue laaa! dalam dier ade kredit rm400 something, tapi kene habiskan dlm sebulan... x abis krg rugi plak pasal xder refund... Tapi, tue bkan masalah dier yang sebenar...
Masalah dier adelah...
Jeng jeng jeng...!
Makanan dier sedap woo T_T
Nak wat camner, dah order nasi goreng belacan, nak side order telur dadar plaks, pastu walaupun dah ketat dah pinggan, terase nak mkn aiskrim chocolate chip plak... tu baru lunch!!! Breakfast aku pon nasi goreng ngan ayam plus semangkuk tom yam lagi... fuuu... X tambah rase rugi plak mealplan...
ckp psal plan, plan aku nak berjoging pon x jadi lagiii...
Sori la mummy, balik karang bkan bertambah macho, bertambah comel ader laa huhuhuhuhu...

Go KOSASS!!!

So last night nyer last night ader Malam Tunas Budaya, lbih kurang cam gala night la kat kmpp dlu... my block, KOSASS team up la ngan kolej haper ntah (cis btol bleh lupa plak kan member) and wat menari2 sket atas pentas tue...
Tapi part yg paling best tue time turn kolej aku la... Bkan la show dyorg best giler kan (sori!!!) tapi best time nak adding to the noise tue!
Rase2nyer kolej kitaorg jer yang terjerit2 cam ungka, tapi best giler weyh cheering dlm dewan tue... sakit tekak aku x hilang lg.
For anugerah kitaorg x dpt la persembahan terbaik kn, tp thanx to our cheering, dpt laa jgak publisiti terbaik dgn lg satu award hape ntah aku x dgar pasl smua org cam histeria taw
"WUUUU!!! YEAH!!! KOSASS!! KOSASS!!!"
So basically I'm proud of ma kolej la kot?

Round and Round the PALAPES go

Yesturdayyy, aku wat la ujian kemahiran asas nak masuk PALAPES kan (PALAPES= uh, reserve officars sumthing, tapi cam military club for uni laa), and guess what?
aku kene lari 2.4 kms under 10 menet!
si*l ke haper? aku nak bejalan pon xlarat, nak belari plakss? so kitorang pon belari, aku sampai sakit abdomen aku at last sampai gak finish line dlm 8 mnit 10 secs... whahahahahh giler bab*ng siud!!!
pastu x smpat nak berehat kene wat situp dan pushup pulaaaak! 2 minit kene min 50x! sakit nyer hati dan limpa x terkata kata... wat ats jalan tar pulak tuu! setan, tapi dah nak gak masuk PALAPES kerana mengejar elaun dan kampus yang lebih chantek (kampus aku yang dulu asal mandi terendam la kaki sal tersumbat ke hape, so no turning back la beb!), aku wat jgak... nad i think i pass la.
lpas nie 17 jlai kene wat iq test ngan interview plak, so x tau lg camner, tapi i wish myself luck lah year? peace!

Being full on terima kasehs

I would dearly nak berterima kaseh kpd tha following people, sbb if it wasn't becoz of them, aku won't be who aku am 2 day. the nominees are:

1. Ikram Ab Karim, my best buddy, for showing me that people are not always who i think they are,
2. Shayza, and Zetty, also my best buddies, for turning my life around. wished we all met sooner...
3. Tinesh a/l Thamotharan, (Yup, i remembered ur name) for ur action in putting me as ajk persiapan pentas, thus crossing my paths with shayza and zetty,
4. Ma mom and dad, for practically everything, ur time, money and love,
5. Dahar, for introducing me to DotA and teaching me almost all that he knew (though aku masih noob)
6. Ed, for teaching me that i can't just keep to myself through the hard way, death,
7. Moon, for being there when i need him.

Ader lg sbenanye, tp aku punyer time limit nak abis dah (niey kat cc) so i xsmpat tulis. but you'll always be in here!!!

Dr. Jekyll, meet Mr. Hyde...

Okay, let's not dawdle around and get straight to the point. I think I may have a split personality disorder, but I don't think it's that simple.
You see, for a moment i might be wishing death upon somebody and training with all my might and strength to eliminate all these weak humans polluting the planet, and 5 seconds later I'll be crying over some HIV positive orphan in South Africa. Jeez, this is totally disturbing. You hate them all the way, but the next moment you'll give anything to help.
You know what? Maybe I'm a wuss. Maybe I'm a little soft in my head. I'm 18 now, but I still like to watch Sesame Street and this show called In The Night Garden. See what I mean? The main character's called Iggle-Piggle or something! For crying out loud!
This isn't normal. I just know it isn't. Even my Mom and Dad said that I'm too childish for my age. Do I have Down's Syndrome? That's always a possibilty, and with my vacant eyes, how could I know?
So I did an IQ test, and guess what? Guess what, world? This nutso, weirdo freak is a friggin' genius! My IQ is actually 151! maybe I should be happy and thank God for it, but that's not the issue here. Now I know why my parents never did see things how i did. Or any of my friends, for that matter. Ikram did see, but hell, that's just one person! What difference could it make?
So I have a high IQ. So I'm a genius. So I can create multiple identities inside of me to talk things over. What's the difference? people don't know that! And besides, what's the use of being a genius anyway? I personally don't give a crap about it. It's not like I can change the world or anything. Hell, I can't even clean up my room.
Maybe it's time to let ol' Jekyll take over.
And wild young Hyde to retreat into void...

Man, I hate this part

Writing in large font coz i want to make it seem I've written a lot, hahaha~ The trick of size to ool lecturers marking assignments. Sadly enough, never seem to work...
Just finished my final exam, and the college i stayed in wants us OUT ASAP, so didn't have much of a reunion party. Heck, we haven't even separated yet, what's with the reunion?
Felt so empty, the feeling i usually get when moving house (I move a lot)... Seeing the empty noticeboard, empty locker, empty everything... Goodbyes suck. Especially best friends you've made in less than a year, so short we haven't time to see the bad, which makes losing them all the more painful...
There's someone I know of, though, who I met and lived with for less than 5 months, but we're kinda like old friends. We still keep in touch, thankfully... I wish I could teleport sometimes. I miss moon already, and he lives like about 570kms away from me... So, the conclusion is


GOODBYES SUCK!!!!

Losing ma faith...

Lately I've been thinking about life and existence... And lately I've seen a certain religion punishing married adulterers by stoning them to death...
The accused and his accomplice were wrapped up as if they're already dead and buried waist-deep in stony ground, hands bound and practically helpless as agroup of people hurled fist-sized stones at them. I can see blood soaking through the white burial cloth, and the white, anonymous figures writhing in pain. and that set me thinking...
What right does all these people have to take someone's else's life? It was as if all of those people hurling stones were innocent, but i can bet that some of them did the same thing at some other time.
What kind of god would allow this to happen? Let his creatures perish in an unfair judgment by others who were no better than the criminals? Letting the bandits punish their kind? Don't get me wrong, I'm from that religion as well, but... there were times when I'm in doubt. God would never allow this to happen. in fact, I think that the only punishment should come from God himself, not some group of humans. At least have a sense of honor and fight fair.
I mean, would you kick someone who's already down? Those low-down creeps wouldn't dare to go one-on-one, getting their strength from crowds... Bunch of self-righteous, sactimonous cowards, i say.
Man, that burns me up, especailly knowing I'm partly responsible for this... I know crime must have a punishment, and i understand murder, but adultery? They're not all to blame, are they? In countries like that, there's a good chance they were forced to marry people they don't love, so i guess it's natural to do what they did, but stoning them to death? Bound and helpless? Jeez, people, where's you honor? Where's your dignity, you bunch of chickens?
I'm out!

Ohhhhh~~~~

The torment!!

Why?????

Well, nothing really. I just feel that life is so unfair sometimes. Coz somebody is forcing me to tell the world how I accidentally burned the fur off my sweet Lupus. Who's Lupus? Well, show u in a sec.

There! That's his pic up there! Cute, huh? Well, I love him too, but a certain 'Sayza' who lied to me when she said that she wanted to go jogging yesterday but hibernated instead said that Lupus never took a bath, but hey, he's only surface washable only...

Well, that's about it.

Oh, man, this flu sucks

Yep, people of the world, the title says it all. I have a flu, god knows who I caught it from, and it's really annoying.
You know those lecture halls? Yeah, real silent, right? Well, try blowing your nose in there and see how many bored kids are willing enough to turn and stare at you.
Jeez, I mean, come on! Haven't you peole ever heard anyone blow their nose before?
"Not in a lecture hall!"
Yeah, I thought as much.
Speaking of lecture halls, a funny event happened earlier. I was absent for a few days, right? Courtesy of the flu. And my lecturer, Mr Shafie, he was obsessed with making sure all his students attend lectures everyday.
So he found out that I'm not around, and he did some research at the staff room, and guess what? He had a chat with Mr Yeoh, my practical teacher! Isn't that just plain fabulous?
So, when two chemistry teachers meet, a certain, well, chemistry forms between them, and they got talking on me, and since i sent Mr Yeoh plenty o letters coz I've been away from his classes like, 5 out of ten times (his smile makes me nervous), he got talking about those letters, and they got to discussing the oh-so-formal terms I used in there.
And of course, today, Mr Shafie kept on hitting me with 'compliments' of how good my English was, but if sarcasm is fluid, I would've need at least ten towels to dry myself off after he's done.
So that's what happened today, see ya'll next time.
Oh yeah, must remind myself to get some toothpaste. Haven't brushed my teeth for days :-P

Okay, that's quick

OOOooookay, so I'm tempted to write another blog...
I'm sitting here at the admin cafe of my college along with two little girlies who was also writing blogs.
Man, I'm bored.
I think my computer's infected with a virus or something: the media players won't work. so i tried to download new antivirus, but nope, not gonna work.
So my life's pretty boring right now, coz i'm supposed to go to a tutorial class at two, but it's maths tutorial. yeah, can all of ya'll imagine that? Maths tutorial at two in the afternoon for 1 full hour? being a student is hell sometimes.
Especially when you run out of allowance.
So guess what? I think i won't go to that class, and the class after that. But if you know Ms Choo, don't tell her!!!
Well, actually it doesn't matter if you do tell her. No one knows my real name hahaha. Might as well tell my whole plan.
So almost everyone on the campus got a runny nose coz yesterday and the day b4 that it rained after like a few months, and I'm caught off guard by that same flu, and water oozes out my nostrils all the time. Yuck, gross.
So I'm gonna use that in my show-cause letter of why I'm absent today. But hell, I'm absent last Friday as well, but I haven't sent the teacher any explanation either. Luckily, it ain't the same teacher. It's a Physics practical class, and I don't know the teacher's name cause he's new, and I have to either send him a letter or a report, which is far harder to do.
So I think I'll send him a letter saying that I was "attacked by an allergic reaction of unknown origin". Sure, it'll get back to me, cause I don't have allergies, but I'm done here by April, so let's prank them up! Wahahahahaaa~
And again, here I am, sitting here and smelling those fried fish snacks behind me, thinking of buying them and my dwindling budget at the same time, sigh~

Wassup wassup!

Wassup, ya'll?

Yeah, dis is my first ever blog. finally!
so, seeing it's my first, i dun really have much to say, ya'll.
so stay tuned!
Ciao, buenonetto.